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英文讀報心得 Nancy Wake, "Whit Mouse" of WWII

心得: 感謝天魔小雲修改

This is a good example that women can be more capable than men when fighting wars.

Nowadays the majority of public still think girls should behave like "ladies," and that women should possess some femininity, and most girls in my country believe so and try hard to fit the impression stereotype. As a result, most of them are similar, lacking of personal style indivisuality.
   
   首句中,girllady乃為可數名詞,建議改採複數形或者加上不定冠詞來表達更為清晰的語意。

再來是一個很重要文法要注意一下,您文章開頭的主題句有三行,且用了兩個and來連接多個子句。推測第一個and後方"women should......"是【think】這個動詞的第二個受詞,前方一定要加上"that"(不可省略);而第二個and後方的句子則與前方並列,故不須加上that
段尾的impression有【瞬間之印象、整體感想】之意,在此宜更改為"stereotype"【刻板映象】較佳,
 Lack作為動詞時及物,後方不必再接上介係詞”of”了;personal style一詞若改    用individuality【個人特質】可以使文意表達更顯充足。

  The same phenomenon can also be observed on males. Guys work very hard to put on develope thieir muscles and seek for fights, and think that is are cool and brave. Ironically, emulating the ideal figures of males and females didn’t  doesn't make us more attractive to the opposite gender, but leave us less options in choosing our better halves. Besides, unification of the qualities of paragons of gender actually limits the variety of the society, and hinders the improvement of the world. In fact, I believe if we put less emphasis on bravery and uncompromising in masculinity, we will have less violence and crimes in our world. Likewise, Emphasizing more resilience and independence in femininity, there will be more female CEOs and politicians.   

 一段也些相同的錯誤,如”musclefiguremalefemalehalfexpectation”宜使用複數形(可斟酌);而練肌肉通常不會說put on muscle,可以改用動詞【develop】;”seek”為及物動詞,不必再加上介係詞”for”;後方think的受詞that指的是”put on… and seek …”這兩件很明確的動作,故後方應該用【are】而不是is;另外請盡量避免行文時態前後不一致的問題,以免造成文意誤會

I understand under the influence of peer's pressure and popular culture, it is hard to resist following the trend. Genetically, men and women are inherently  different, but the problem is we have too little tolerance to those who falls in the categories of minority. Those whose gender tendency inclines to neutral are often considered aberrant and bad because they don’t meet our expectations of good. But in essence, they are just as normal and good as we “normal” people are. So, why be so surprise women fights better than men in battles? Since pulling trigger doesn’t require much strength, what really surprised us is not her feat or ability in the war, but the incongruity of her behavior to our expectation for female. She not only surprised us, but also stunned us, for she is too special to be a woman. She must be a monster or alien so she could accomplish things we used to consider impossible for women. She is neither a monster nor superwomen, she is normal. It is our inveterate misconception that make possible impossible. We exaggerated the difference between men and women, but few people noticed that. Her most important inspiration to me is not how women can do as well as men in wars, but how justice and possibilities can be sacrificed if we don’t suspect and examine the righteousness of social conventions before we chose to follow.      

在【Genetically, men and women are inherently different……】這一句中,those who為第三人稱複數形,後方動詞要選用fall (不能加s);兩個同義情狀副詞geneticallyinherently皆修飾different,使得句子予人累贅之感,若不想擇一保留,可以採用下面這樣的寫法:(下面一句中遺漏了beVare】,”of good”下方已出現,建議刪去) 



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